Born in Glasgow, Scotland to Robin McFarlane (Quantity Surveyor) and Frances McFarlane (Clerical Worker). Lived in Shawlands, on the South side of the city, in a 3rd floor tenement flat, the hallway of which was occupied by a 3-man Canadian canoe.
Started my state education at Langside Primary School, a beautiful red sandstone building, the likes of which they just don't make any more.
Moved to Thornliebank, Glasgow, to a suburban cauldesac where the Canadian canoe was replaced by a garage full of windsurfing equipment.
Moved to Robslee Primary School, a hideous concrete box.
Started practising kendo.
Started secondary education at Woodfarm High School.
Started playing the drums, under the guidance of the school's resident goth.
Stopped squinting and got some glasses.
Grew my hair long, like some sort of hippy.
A drastic haircut preceded my election to Head Boy.
Left Woodfarm, insistent on defying my careers adviser.
Spent the year working at Eastwood Theatre in various guises, and pursuing experience of sound engineering.
Met my girlfriend, Meg. She was dressed as a chinese person at the time.
Was accepted to the Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts to study Sound Technology.
Met Multi Purpose Chemical. They told me they sounded like Turin Brakes.
Joined Multi Purpose Chemical as drummer. They then told me that they wanted to be a metal band, so I cut more hair off.
Graduated from LIPA with a 1st Class BA(Hons) in Sound Technology.
Moved to London with Meg to work for Audient, a professional audio manufacturer.
Multi Purpose Chemical signed a record deal.
Moved back to Liverpool to pursue a rock 'n' roll career. Got a short-lived job entering births, deaths and marriages into the Liverpool Echo.
Multi Purpose Chemical's 'Cult' EP was released on Honey Records. It was produced by Ace, guitarist of my favourite band of yesteryear, Skunk Anansie.
Moved to Bacup in Rossendale with Meg. You know you're in Lancashire when there's a whippet, two budgies and bloke called Granville no more than three doors away.
Adopted Arthur, a miniature wire-haired dachshund.
Started an MSc in Computer Science at The University of Liverpool.
Played my last gig with Multi Purpose Chemical.
Got sucked in by the Reality Distortion Field.
Got a friend for Arhthur in the form of Ernest, a standard wire-haired dachshund.
Submitted my MSc dissertation, "Integration of the Luo-Rudy(1994) Model of Ventricular Action Potential into the QUI Package for the Simulation of Cardiac Arrhythmia".
Started my PhD studies.
Got my MSc in Computer Science with distinction.
Won $2000 from Microsoft Research in the ORE Challenge.
Presented at my first conference, BCS Visions of Computer Science.
A lacklustre campaign was followed by my election to the PGSSLC.
Narrowly missed out on the big bucks at the Dev8D Developer Decathlon with our entry Sh!.
